Beefy Bama Girls

ULM.....that's not a school, that's the sound Hog fans are now gasping out, "ULM." All there is to say folks is, Thanks Bobby! Without a doubt, this past week proved one thing. Bobby Petrino was bigger than our program. The Hogs played for Petrino, the fans cheered for Petrino, Jeff Long raised prices for Petrino, and the State Police tried to cover up Petrino. He was simply bigger. But that's all gone now, and I can now raise my children without having to explain to them what "The Citadel" means. They will also now be raised completely deprived of Duck Dynasty. I just can't handle anything Monroe. Nor can I handle anymore of this lady (I hope this video will play for you at work....If not YouTube search "United We Stand Liz Honey" when you get home). Sick to my stomach all week, eating was only done for survival. Until Thursday rolled around and Grubs Uptown was on the agenda. I passed on the Chicken Strip basket this week and went with the Total Package Burger. Folks, this burger is so good it'd make your granddaddy cry. So, the Total Package it was. Afterall, that's what it will take if the Hogs are going to beat Bama: The Total Package. Let's see what the Playstation had to offer. ESPN Gameday is on the scene (what's wrong with this picture) and DWRRS is decked out for a WHITE OUT (take that Jeff Long). The Hogs win the toss and defer. The first quarter is a good ol fashioned SEC matchup, with both teams pounding the ball between the tackles. Both teams move the ball, but neither can get it inside the opposing team 40 yard line. 0-0 at the end of 1. The second quarter has the Hogs coming to life as Knile Davis starts to find a grove, breaking back to back runs of 15 and 22 yards, but on the following play Tyler Wilson (he was never hurt on Playstation) throws an interception. The Hogs would hold Bama to a 3 and out and take over at the 50. The Hogs then go 3 and out and on 4th down roll the dice with a fake punt. The fake is stopped inches short and Bama takes over at their own 40. The hogs would stop Bama again and take the ball at their own 21 yard line. Tyler Wilson finds a grove with Hamilton and Gragg and the Hogs go 69 yards in 9 plays as Zach Hocker kicks a field goal as time expires in the half. 3-0 Hogs. Arkansas would do nothing with the opening kick and Bama would begin to drive the ball down the throat of the Hogs. But on 3rd and goal from the 1, McCarron fumbles the snap and Arkansas recovers. Wilson hits Gragg for 43 yards on 1st down, but 2 plays later throws INT number 2. Bama throws a playaction pass for a TD on the very next play. 7-3 Bama end of 3. The 4th quarter action starts with the Hogs at midfield and rolling the dice again. On 4th and inches, Knile Davis is stuffed for a 2 yard loss and Bama again would score on just one play. 14-3 Tide. The Hogs would answer with an 8 play 80 yard drive as Knile Davis scores from 16 yards out and it's 14-10 Bama with 3 mins to play. The Hogs D would rise to the occasion and force a 3 and out. The feeling of 2010 strikes back as Wilson throws pick #3 on the Hogs very first play. But once again the defense would show up, recovering a Lacy fumble. Arkansas would have one last chance with 1:09 left in the game. Davis runs twice for 8 yards and on 3rd and 1 from their own 40, Wilson again is picked off and Bama goes to Victory Formation. 14-10 Tide. So Nick Satan and the Beefy Bama Girls come rolling to town on their quest for Back to Back National Championships.

It just so happens that the Hogs are the first SEC cupcake on the schedule. And while Fayetteville should be painted red, GameDay should be on The Hill and Dickson Street should be for foot traffic only, John L Smith didn't come to paint. Instead he came to be the goofball grandpa that's trying to win press conferences instead of football games and to write a book on a "Cinderella Story" called Bikes, Bankruptcy and BBQ. Not to mention he is overseeing an offensive and defensive coordinator that are in this weeks free ticket drawing for The Burlskids.

But hold on just an Alabama minute!!!!! (That's a real long time, for all you "fast" readers out there). It's been pointed out to me that Les Miles has beat Nick Saban before and John L is goofier than him, so maybe the Hogs have a chance?? Now that the Hogs have all but blown the season, there's nothing to lose. Let's roll the dice and give it all we got huh?!! It's going to take all of that and some. Cmon Hog fans!!!! Let's muster up one final Hog Call. Unlike Jeff Long, I don't need you wearing red. I just need the Hog in your heart to dig deep, deeper than you've ever dug before, and find what it takes to bring this team to victory tomorrow. I mean EVERY OUNCE!!! Turn your hat backwards, wear your underwear inside out, tackle and elephant, or cut some frat boy's Bama bangs, I don't care. I just need whatever it's going to take to get it done. It's a 2:30 kickoff which means the Razorback Road Rendezvous will be rollin by 7am. The Bell will be ringin and Frank will be looming. Come get that spirit of the Hog back in ya and let's save our season!!!! If we can score 10 points we can win.....I just worry about getting to 10. One final Homer pick of the year: Hogs 31 Rammer Jammer Take Your Hammer and stick up your.... 30 GO HOGS! Superfan